Stupid pASSport people!

Why is it our government agencies have to be so fantastically inept, so incredibly inefficient, and so monumentally stupid?

Why is it I can spend over $160.00 on express handling and overnight shipping in two directions back in May, and still be biting my nails 6 days before the flight in July because my son’s passport hasn’t arrived? Why?

Why can my wife – a Spanish citizen – casually apply to her embassy (thousands of miles away from her capital of Madrid), and have her passport ready 3 days later? Why? And why does hers only cost $20.00? Why?

The guy on this passport pictured here? That’s Frank E. Moss, Deputy Assistant Secretary of State for Passport Services. He’s got his passport. Big fat jerk!

I checked the status of Jason’s passport online: It says it will arrive within 2 to 3 weeks from the date we applied (it’s been 6).

I called the Passport Agency on Thursday: I was told his application hasn’t been processed yet and that they’ll send an e-mail to a supervisor to speed it up.

I called the Passport Agency on Friday: I was told they started it, but they haven’t finished it. “Why have they not finished it?” I dared to ask. “Well, because they have to do background checks and things like that,” I was told.

What? Background checks on a thirteen year-old? How long can that take? Could he possibly have mob ties or connections with al Qaeda at that age?

Note: I mentioned al Qaeda on purpose so that I might get a few hits from the FBI or the CIA on my blog. Maybe they can speed up my son’s passport.

Hey, you! Mr. FBI Agent Dude…My son doesn't have any ties to al Qaeda! And I spent over 22 years in the U.S. military fighting those bastards. So, can he PLEASE have his passport now? He's supposed to leave next week. Call the passport agency for me, will ya?!?!

I e-mailed my congressman, The Honorable George Miller. There was no response from him. He probably has his passport and is vacationing in Europe. Thank you to all you liberal Californians who voted Democrat and made that loser my congressman.

And so we wait...