Ah, the season that could have been. Stupid tuck rule!Okay, so I’m taking some heat about the Raiders this year. And I probably deserve it. Not that I would trash talk about any of your teams (yeah, right!). I’m no fair-weather fan, so go ahead and take your shots. I can take it. Just know what you’re talking about, that’s all.
I don’t know any Miami fans, so I’ll leave them out of the discussion. In case you don’t know, Miami still has the highest overall all-time winning percentage in the NFL at .594. But, even they can’t boast of a better winning percentage against the Raiders (the Raiders lead with a 17-12-1 record versus the dorsal fins).
That leaves the Raiders with the second highest winning percentage all-time in the NFL at .578. If you’re a Niner fan, you’re a paltry .561. Dallas? You’re at .574 (oh, so close!). Colts? .506 (ouch, barely above a losing record!). So, essentially, we can bomb the rest of the season (and we will), and you still can’t say you’re team is better – at least not historically.
Versus San Francisco we’re 6-4, versus Dallas we’re 6-3, and versus the Colts? Do you really want to know? Yep, we’re 8-4.
And we all know what’s going to happen for the remainder of the season…
…the Raiders will continue their losing streak and blow a great first round draft pick on a player they don’t really need. Sure, Michael Huff is working out great. It’s just too bad he’s not a quarterback or offensive lineman.
…Forty-Niner fans at 5-5 still believe they can make the playoffs (and win a Super Bowl?). Yeah, right! I’m looking for something positive to say about them, but it’s so hard! Okay, Frank Gore is playing out of his mind. I have to give you that. But even Jerry Rice moved over to the Dark Side of the Bay when he saw the light.
…the Raiders will set a record for most fourth quarter leads blown in a season.
…the Colts will look awesome going into the playoffs only to lose in the first round. Ya just can’t shake history. Truth be told, being as my team sure isn’t going anywhere this season, I’d like to see Peyton Manning and Tony Dungy finally win one. But, there are serious demons to overcome. Curse of the Edgebino?
…the Raiders will set a record for most consecutive games scoring 13 points or less. Ouch! That’s painful.
…and Dallas? Don’t get me started. Terrell Owens?? It’s only a matter of time for the implosion. Here’s an ironic prediction (tell all your friends you saw it here first). The Cowboys will be vying for a Wild Card birth only to be edged out by San Francisco who has the advantage of playing in the weakest division in the NFL (Arizona, Saint Louis, and Seattle – you know I’m not lying).
…and the Raiders? They’ll set single-season records for most sacks allowed, most interceptions, most turn-overs, and fewest yards of total offense. Just keepin’ it real.
I’m going to invoke Man-Law 1345:2345 – “Any man whose sports team is having a losing season may claim it as a rebuilding year whether or not any actual rebuilding is taking place.” There’s always next year, Raider fans. There’s always next year.
I don’t know any Miami fans, so I’ll leave them out of the discussion. In case you don’t know, Miami still has the highest overall all-time winning percentage in the NFL at .594. But, even they can’t boast of a better winning percentage against the Raiders (the Raiders lead with a 17-12-1 record versus the dorsal fins).
That leaves the Raiders with the second highest winning percentage all-time in the NFL at .578. If you’re a Niner fan, you’re a paltry .561. Dallas? You’re at .574 (oh, so close!). Colts? .506 (ouch, barely above a losing record!). So, essentially, we can bomb the rest of the season (and we will), and you still can’t say you’re team is better – at least not historically.
Versus San Francisco we’re 6-4, versus Dallas we’re 6-3, and versus the Colts? Do you really want to know? Yep, we’re 8-4.
And we all know what’s going to happen for the remainder of the season…
…the Raiders will continue their losing streak and blow a great first round draft pick on a player they don’t really need. Sure, Michael Huff is working out great. It’s just too bad he’s not a quarterback or offensive lineman.
…Forty-Niner fans at 5-5 still believe they can make the playoffs (and win a Super Bowl?). Yeah, right! I’m looking for something positive to say about them, but it’s so hard! Okay, Frank Gore is playing out of his mind. I have to give you that. But even Jerry Rice moved over to the Dark Side of the Bay when he saw the light.
…the Raiders will set a record for most fourth quarter leads blown in a season.
…the Colts will look awesome going into the playoffs only to lose in the first round. Ya just can’t shake history. Truth be told, being as my team sure isn’t going anywhere this season, I’d like to see Peyton Manning and Tony Dungy finally win one. But, there are serious demons to overcome. Curse of the Edgebino?
…the Raiders will set a record for most consecutive games scoring 13 points or less. Ouch! That’s painful.
…and Dallas? Don’t get me started. Terrell Owens?? It’s only a matter of time for the implosion. Here’s an ironic prediction (tell all your friends you saw it here first). The Cowboys will be vying for a Wild Card birth only to be edged out by San Francisco who has the advantage of playing in the weakest division in the NFL (Arizona, Saint Louis, and Seattle – you know I’m not lying).
…and the Raiders? They’ll set single-season records for most sacks allowed, most interceptions, most turn-overs, and fewest yards of total offense. Just keepin’ it real.
I’m going to invoke Man-Law 1345:2345 – “Any man whose sports team is having a losing season may claim it as a rebuilding year whether or not any actual rebuilding is taking place.” There’s always next year, Raider fans. There’s always next year.
3 comments:
I'm a sad person at the moment. And sad people do sad things.
Lessee how best to answer this.
Let's go to one of my favorite subjects: money.
If you put $1,500 in a small little nothing 6% interest bearing account and left it alone, did nothing other than instruct the bank to roll the dividends back into the account, added nothing more to it, in 150 years you would have $9,374,995.09.
So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that if we could invent a time machine to go to Wells Fargo in 1856, we'd be millionaires.
Or, in football terms, history don't mean squat.
To quote Janet Jackson:
What have you done for me lately? Dunna dunna DENT DUN ..
Or, in more recent football history, which team from Northern CA betrayed their fans and the love and support given by their community and went to LA? I don't remember, who was that again? Then came crawling back and got their pee-pee slapped by the Bucs? Most embarrassing Super Bowl loss since Niners/Broncos?
Al Davis for President! Marion Berry for Vice President! Osama Bin Laden for Head of Homeland Security!
:)
Go Colts!
Or, to be perfectly honest to how I feel: Go Peyton Manning!
Dale
Keith: Omission of the facts is malicious and perpetrated with intent and forethought. Guilty as charged. Have a fantastic Turkey Day as well!
Dale: Uh, didn't the Colts reside in Baltimore at one point? Seems like we have something in common when omitting the facts. At least the Raiders moved back home. Seems like Baltimore...er...I mean Indianapolis betrayed their fans worse and stayed gone. Actually, now that I think about it, can you name the only city to win a Super Bowl AFTER their team moved away? Maybe Baltimore fans prefer that the Colts stayed gone. They got the Ravens instead.
Historically speaking, the only thing the Colts have going for them is their 1970 win over Dallas in Super Bowl V (I won't bring up their loss to the Jets in Super Bowl III). I just can't hate on any team that beats Dallas. I even (very quietly) root for the 49ers when they play Dallas. Happy Gobble Day to you, my friend.
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